One of the biggest difficulties newly divorced co-parents face is communicating with each other. The younger your children are, the longer you are going to have to do this for, so you may as well try to make it as painless and effective as possible.
Here are some methods you can use.
1. Meeting up in person
Many topics are more effectively discussed face-to-face. You can gauge each other’s reactions to things, not just through their words but through their facial expressions and bodily gestures, too. You can see if you need to explain a point further because the other person has not understood or appears to have misunderstood. Face-to-face discussions can also speed results up, as you are there to give immediate answers to each other’s questions rather than having to wait until they compose an email or read your text message and reply.
2. Communicating via phone or video call
Communicating via phone can be quick and easy, as most people have their phones with them most of the time. However, unless you pre-arrange a call, you might catch each other at inopportune moments, causing disruption or getting short-shrift because the other person is in the middle of something.
Phone calls don’t give you any visual reading of the other person, so video calls can be useful in giving you a bit more. You still won’t see as much as if the other person is in front of you, though.
3. Communicating by written message
Emails, text messages or parenting app messaging options allow you to take your time to compose what you want to say and how you will reply. The downside is that you cannot immediately ask for clarification on what someone meant, and it is easy to get carried away trying to decipher their words and emojis and very easy to misunderstand things.
Written messages have the benefit of recording what was said, unlike a voice conversation where someone can turn around later and deny ever having said a thing. A written record can be problematic if you say something you wish you hadn’t, however.
Most co-parents will use a mixture of these techniques to communicate with each other. Working out which are best for your situation is one of the things to consider when creating your parenting plan.
