It’s not easy to decide to end your marriage. However, communicating your decision to your spouse can be even harder.
How you choose to break the bad news to your spouse can set the tone for the entire divorce process. That’s why there are so many articles out there talking about how to do it right. Choosing the wrong method to share your decision can lead to a lot of unnecessary conflict in your divorce. Here are some of the ways you should not approach this process
Don’t drop the news in public
Unless you have reason to fear for your safety, you don’t want to deliver life-altering news to your spouse in a restaurant or coffee shop. While you may think it’s a great way to keep everybody’s emotions in check, your spouse may feel humiliated. That can end any chance you might have for a peaceful parting.
Don’t announce it in anger
It can be tempting to fire off the news the next time you end up in a heated argument with your spouse. However, that can make your decision sound impulsive or like an idle threat. That can lead your spouse to believe that there’s still a chance at reconciliation and give them false hope. You will likely have better results if you approach this conversation when you’re both relatively emotionally neutral so that your spouse understands that this isn’t a spur-of-the-moment choice.
Don’t tell them right before a major event
There’s a reason that a lot of people wait until after the holiday season to tell their spouse they want a divorce – not the least of which is that making that kind of announcement right before a major family holiday can permanently sour what’s supposed to be a joyful time. You should also avoid giving them the news right before a major work event or trip. That can convey the idea that you’re trying to hurt them.
No matter how ready you are to be “done” with your marriage, it’s still important to be mindful of your steps, since that can drastically affect your spouse’s willingness to be cooperative later. Seeking legal guidance before you make the announcement can help you feel better prepared.
