It is natural to feel a sense of loss when your marriage ends. You may reflect fondly on your wedding day or feel that you were naïve to believe it could last forever. Hopefully, you have some positive memories to take with you into your new life, and you may even have hope that you will find love again in the future.
Even though divorce is a common occurrence in Illinois and elsewhere, you may wonder where things went wrong in your marriage. Every relationship is different, and every divorce has its own deciding factors. However, it may help you to understand some of the more common causes of marital breakups since each of these may greatly affect the process or outcome of your divorce.
Many couples simply grow apart. Their lives and priorities take different turns, or they lose interest in each other. When this happens, they may try to reclaim the old connection through counseling, therapy, retreats or other methods. Sometimes they have great success, and other times, the distance between them has grown too wide. On the other hand, some marital issues may be too great to overcome with therapy and heartfelt talks, for example:
- Your life goals differ too widely from your spouse's. For instance, you may argue about where in the country you want to live, practice vastly different religions or disagree about whether to have children.
- Your spouse is abusive, controlling, manipulative or jealous to the point where you are in physical danger or you feel your own point of view and self-esteem slipping away.
- Your spouse has an addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography or other destructive behaviors that continue to bring negative consequences on you and your children.
- Your spouse is unfaithful, which may include having multiple partners or other inappropriate or ongoing relationships without remorse.
Emotional affairs, such as through social media, are an increasingly common reason for marriage breakups, but if your spouse is having physical relationships, you may be at risk of contracting a disease.
If your marriage is struggling because of any of these issues, that does not mean there is no hope for keeping the marriage alive. However, you may feel the pain you have already suffered is not worth the work you will have to put into saving the relationship. If this is the case, you will want to be certain your rights are protected throughout the divorce process and that you have the best chance of obtaining a full and fair division of property for a positive post-divorce life.